For PHP haters

The war between wetware and hardware.
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Witness
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For PHP haters

Post by Witness » Sun Jul 08, 2018 3:23 am

PHP: a fractal of bad design

Preface

I’m cranky. I complain about a lot of things. There’s a lot in the world of technology I don’t like, and that’s really to be expected—programming is a hilariously young discipline, and none of us have the slightest clue what we’re doing. Combine with Sturgeon’s Law, and I have a lifetime’s worth of stuff to gripe about.

This is not the same. PHP is not merely awkward to use, or ill-suited for what I want, or suboptimal, or against my religion. I can tell you all manner of good things about languages I avoid, and all manner of bad things about languages I enjoy. Go on, ask! It makes for interesting conversation.

PHP is the lone exception. Virtually every feature in PHP is broken somehow. The language, the framework, the ecosystem, are all just bad. And I can’t even point out any single damning thing, because the damage is so systemic. Every time I try to compile a list of PHP gripes, I get stuck in this depth-first search discovering more and more appalling trivia. (Hence, fractal.)

PHP is an embarrassment, a blight upon my craft. It’s so broken, but so lauded by every empowered amateur who’s yet to learn anything else, as to be maddening. It has paltry few redeeming qualities and I would prefer to forget it exists at all.

But I’ve got to get this out of my system. So here goes, one last try.
For the rest: https://eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fr ... ad-design/

:mrgreen:

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xouper
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Re: For PHP haters

Post by xouper » Sun Jul 08, 2018 6:03 pm

Witness wrote:
PHP: a fractal of bad design

Preface

I’m cranky. I complain about a lot of things. There’s a lot in the world of technology I don’t like, and that’s really to be expected—programming is a hilariously young discipline, and none of us have the slightest clue what we’re doing. Combine with Sturgeon’s Law, and I have a lifetime’s worth of stuff to gripe about.

This is not the same. PHP is not merely awkward to use, or ill-suited for what I want, or suboptimal, or against my religion. I can tell you all manner of good things about languages I avoid, and all manner of bad things about languages I enjoy. Go on, ask! It makes for interesting conversation.

PHP is the lone exception. Virtually every feature in PHP is broken somehow. The language, the framework, the ecosystem, are all just bad. And I can’t even point out any single damning thing, because the damage is so systemic. Every time I try to compile a list of PHP gripes, I get stuck in this depth-first search discovering more and more appalling trivia. (Hence, fractal.)

PHP is an embarrassment, a blight upon my craft. It’s so broken, but so lauded by every empowered amateur who’s yet to learn anything else, as to be maddening. It has paltry few redeeming qualities and I would prefer to forget it exists at all.

But I’ve got to get this out of my system. So here goes, one last try.
For the rest: https://eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fr ... ad-design/

:mrgreen:
After reading the rest of that — well, not quite all of it — I'm now a PHP hater too.

I've long been a big fan of Python. In fact most of my graduate research is written in Python.

He didn't mention javascript and node.js as an alternate server side platform, but then his editorial was from six years ago.

Nowadays when someone asks me what language should they learn first, I usually say either Python or javascript, and then depending on your career aspirations, you might consider also learning C++ or C## or whatever equivalent they are currently using on Apple platforms (i.e. Swift for ios). In fact, if you have an iPad, Swift Playgrounds is a free app and is an excellent way to learn object oriented programming (although I wish the editor was better).

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Witness
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Re: For PHP haters

Post by Witness » Mon Jul 09, 2018 2:51 am

Having to add a $ sign to variable names says it all… :twisted: