Signs of the impending apocalypse

Hot topics in delusion and rationalization.
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Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Pyrrho » Thu May 11, 2017 10:55 am

Plus or minus armageddon.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-05-11/c ... ch/8516682
Suburban cricketers in Melbourne were left stumped at the weekend as the wicket appeared to defy the law of gravity.

A mid-year match between Moonee Valley and Strathmore Heights came to a standstill when a delivery knocked out the middle stump but left the bails in place.

Moonee Valley captain Michael Ozman was watching from the boundary and saw the stump "go flying back to the wicket keeper".

"Everyone started gathering around the wicket," he told ABC Radio Melbourne's Red Symons.

"I walked out and I saw that leg and off stump were still sitting there and both bails were up still.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Doctor X » Thu May 11, 2017 11:42 am

I know shit about cricket since I find it about as exciting as a baseball game between San Diego and the DEVIL Rays--"is it in San Diego?! Double Switch!!!11!"--so I do not know what the official ruling is, but I always assumed that the bails have to fall. Hence the joke "sticky wicket."

This is a game that takes days to play. Scoring 108 is a "bad thing." It ends with a lot of sodomy.





Though it is probably better than a Bears v. Jacksonville game.

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Boss Paul » Thu May 11, 2017 11:45 am

"Page not found?"

Back-slidin'!
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And you call the rest of us "Boss," you hear?!

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by gnome » Thu May 11, 2017 4:36 pm

“What's that strange thing you British play?”
“Er, cricket? Self-loathing?”
“Parliamentary democracy. The rules just kind of got there.”

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Pyrrho » Sat May 13, 2017 4:13 am

Boss Paul wrote:"Page not found?"

Back-slidin'!
Fixin' the link here, Boss.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Carr » Sat May 13, 2017 5:22 am

Then get at them beans!
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Pyrrho » Mon May 15, 2017 10:51 pm

http://dailypost.ng/2017/05/13/pastor-e ... ike-jesus/
A pastor who tried replicating the Biblical story of Jesus Christ walking on water has been eaten by crocodiles.

The pastor, identified as Jonathan Mthethwa, of the Saint of the Last Days Church, tried the demonstration at a river known as Crocodile River.

Mthethwa, from a local church in White River Mpumalanga died Saturday morning trying to demonstrate the biblical miracle to his congregants.

According to The Herald Zimbabwe, he drowned into the Crocodile River and was seen by his church members getting eaten by 3 crocodiles.

Deacon Nkosi, a member of the church, told the newspaper, “The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week.

“He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by 3 large crocodiles in front of us.

“We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week.”
Probably just fake news.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Mon May 15, 2017 11:37 pm

God called him home.

Sometimes God uses cancer for that, but a crocodile is quicker.

God was in a hurry this time.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Anaxagoras » Tue May 16, 2017 7:03 am

Jesus.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by izittrue » Sun May 21, 2017 5:31 pm

Doctor X wrote:I know shit about cricket......

Though it is probably better than a Bears v. Jacksonville game.

--J.D.
Meanie. Just wait till next/some year in the future.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Doctor X » Sun May 21, 2017 6:02 pm

Hey, at least we spared you all getting [CENSORED--Ed.] by Lebron.

--J.D.
Mob of the Mean: Free beanie, cattle-prod and Charley Fan Club!
"Doctor X is just treating you the way he treats everyone--as subhuman crap too dumb to breathe in after you breathe out."--Don
DocX: FTW.--sparks
"Doctor X wins again."--Pyrrho
"Never sorry to make a racist Fucktard cry."--His Humble MagNIfIcence
"It was the criticisms of Doc X, actually, that let me see more clearly how far the hypocrisy had gone."--clarsct
"I'd leave it up to Doctor X who has been a benevolent tyrant so far."--Grammatron
"Indeed you are a river to your people.
Shit. That's going to end up in your sig."--Pyrrho
"Try a twelve step program and accept Doctor X as your High Power."--asthmatic camel
"just like Doc X said." --gnome

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Pyrrho » Wed Jun 14, 2017 5:50 pm

http://www.newsweek.com/conjoined-twin- ... nds-625612
Scientists in the Netherlands have reported the first known sighting of a conjoined twin porpoise. The animal was caught in a net by fisherman in the North Sea, and was dead when they found it.

The porpoise was a male baby, its age clear by its not-yet-firm dorsal fin, small hairs on its upper jaw and an open umbilicus from where it had been attached to its mother. His peculiar anatomy was unmistakable: the porpoise had two fully formed heads. The heads were connected to a single body with the usual two pectoral fins.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Witness » Wed Jun 14, 2017 10:52 pm

[youtube][/youtube]

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Anaxagoras » Mon Jun 19, 2017 9:43 am

Snortable Chocolate Arrives in U.S. Stores
One of the first things you notice after opening a jar of Coco Loko is that it looks like hot chocolate mix. Snorting a line of the brown powder with specks of white confirms its familiar flavor, followed by a rush of energy.

Americans are beginning to see the product alongside candy bars and energy pills at local shops as the Florida company Legal Lean moves to take a European club-drug trend mainstream.

“I can see it taking off, as long as it doesn't get too controversial,” says Nick Anderson, director of marketing for the five-person Orlando company. "We feel like we're cutting edge in what we're doing."

Snorting chocolate has received significant international attention since 2007, when Belgian chocolatier Dominique Persoone created a device he calls the Chocolate Shooter to snort cocoa (not cacao) powder. Health conscious European clubgoers separately use raw cacao in pills and drinks for its mildly euphoric, energizing effects.

Coco Loko uses cacao, which is a processed at a lower heat than cocoa, retaining more beneficial nutrients. Raw cacao is hailed as a superfood full of mood-lifting anandamide and phenylethylamine, cognition-assisting flavonoids and muscle-relaxing magnesium.

Cacao can be purchased on Amazon.com or at a Walmart. Until now, however, powder specifically intended for snorting has not been a mass-market product in the U.S.

Coco Loko is cut to enhance cacao's effects. The label lists B vitamins, ginkgo biloba, blood flow-improving amino acid L-Arginine and the energy drink stimulants guarana and taurine.

“It hits you quicker when you snort it,” Anderson says, though it also can be made into drinks.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Pyrrho » Sat Jun 24, 2017 1:21 am

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3862516/h ... th-africa/
SUPERSTITIOUS villagers have been living in fear since a sheep gave birth to this creature that was said by elders to be half-human half-beast and “sent by the devil”.

Many of the 4000 inhabitants and farmers of Lady Frere in Eastern Province, South Africa, were convinced that bestiality and witchcraft had led to the birth of the creature.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Witness » Sat Jun 24, 2017 1:29 am

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Nihil novi sub sole…

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Pyrrho » Sat Jun 24, 2017 3:36 pm

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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Pyrrho » Thu Jul 27, 2017 12:03 am

http://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/us/2017/jul ... s-on-stage
Hagee made national headlines a few years ago with his studies and observations on the series of four blood moons that appeared in the sky and all coincided with Jewish feast days. Hagee says these were prophesied in the Bible and are a sign that God is about to move on the world stage.

"The four blood moons, as soon as the fourth blood moon appeared, you will follow the press followings that Russia moved out of Russia into the Middle East," Hagee noted. "They moved their military forces into the Middle East. The 38th chapter of the book of Ezekiel says that when the King of the north moves out of the north, I will bring you out of the north. Then we are getting ready to watch the Genesis of the Gog-Magog War."

"So the very specific thing that happened as soon as those blood moons ended was that Russia moved out to the Middle East, and Russia is not going to leave the Middle East," Hagee warned. "They're going to join with Iran to build... a massive army that will in time try to perform a land invasion of the state of Israel."

He says the upcoming, rare solar eclipse on August 21 is not quite as dramatic as the four blood moons, but is an example of one of the many signs and wonders we'll see in the sky in the end of days that have never happened before.
"The world as we have it at this very present time is a powder keg and the fuse is lit," he warned. "Every player is on the stage for the first time in history that fulfills all of the prophesies of Daniel, Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Isaiah; they're all there. We're just waiting for the next domino to fall and when it does watch out! It's not going to stop."
Hold on to your butts.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Abdul Alhazred » Thu Jul 27, 2017 9:14 am

Jewish feast days tend to fall on full moons (on purpose).

So any given "blood moon" is likely to fall on a Jewish feast day.
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Re: Signs of the impending apocalypse

Post by Anaxagoras » Fri Jul 28, 2017 11:31 am

I was thinking of starting a thread about this, but I think it fits in this thread pretty well.
Chinese police detain female Jesus cult members
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
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