Where the fuck are my car keys?

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RCC
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Where the fuck are my car keys?

Postby RCC » Fri Apr 08, 2005 5:53 pm

No really...

I think the e-mail to the office this morning says it all:

Sorry... I've calmed down a bit. Here is more information that you probably want on the matter, mostly for your amusement as I appreciate just how absurd this is:

My keys are gone. I've done a CSI type search of the house, re-created how I came home last night and so on. Can't find them, odd seeing my keys are not small and the house is not big. I've concluded that the most likely place for them is that I put them on a table somewhere and my wife scooped them up thinking they were hers... she tends to leave them laying about while I'm usually quite religious about putting them in the same place... mainly because it drives me absolutely insane when I can't find them.

However, the wife is in court, and when she goes to court she does like 5836 hearings at once. I've left her a message, and I'll likely hear back sometime after noon, and then maybe I'm right that she has them, or maybe my keys have ascended into heaven, some sort of mix up with the Pope... or maybe I'll find them in my tuxedo, which I last wore on March 25, 2000.... The suspense is getting to me a bit, because if she does not have them I'm stumped... I did make it home, so they have to be somewhere... Laws of Physics and all that...

I've decided I'm just going to take a personal day. The Masters is on, the sun is shining, and the thought of worrying about this makes me sick. I mean, I REALLY hate to not be able to find my car keys. I'm going to go relax and see if I can stop shaking...



Then my wife called, and she doesn't have them...

So... where the fuck are the goddamn things? It's a moot point as I'm not going in today... I'm half in the bag already so fuck it...

Any guesses? Whoever comes closest wins!!!

Fame can be yours.... win the "I found RCC's keys" contest...

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Postby rebecca » Fri Apr 08, 2005 5:59 pm

Did you check the fridge? Sometimes when I lose things, I find them in the fridge.
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Postby Grammatron » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:01 pm

Have you checked the car?
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Re: Where the fuck are my car keys?

Postby NightG1 » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:02 pm

RCC wrote:Any guesses? Whoever comes closest wins!!!

Fame can be yours.... win the "I found RCC's keys" contest...


RCC:

Not to imply anything but back in my "drinking" days, I woke up one Saturday morning with a huge hangover and no car keys. I looked everywhere in the apartment.....except the front door. There they were, still in the lock and dangling all bright and shiney like. How I avoided becoming a crime statistic that night, I'll never know.
Last edited by NightG1 on Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Postby Nyarlathotep » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:03 pm

I think you could find them if only you could find your house.....
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Postby whitefork » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:08 pm

I tend to leave them in my trouser pockets and then, after hanging up the trousers they may either remain in the pocket or fall on the floor into a shoe.

That drives me nuts.

Sometime in a coat pocket and the coat is in some unusual place. Or behind a couch cushion.

I sympathize deeply.
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Re: Where the fuck are my car keys?

Postby specious_reasons » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:13 pm

NightG1 wrote:
RCC wrote:Any guesses? Whoever comes closest wins!!!

Fame can be yours.... win the "I found RCC's keys" contest...


RCC:

Not to imply anything but back in my "drinking" days, I woke up one Saturday morning with a huge hangover and no car keys. I looked everywhere in the apartment.....except the front door. There they were, still in the lock and dangling all bright and shiney like. How I avoided becoming a crime statistic that night, I'll never know.


I was going to suggest the same thing, or on the ground right outside your door, or in the garbage....

In a shoe is pretty common, too.

If I were less than 100 miles away, I'd volunteer to help. My mother was a master at losing her keys, so I grew up finding them.
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Postby Generalisimo » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:14 pm

Did you check your ass? Sometimes when I lose things, I find them in your ass.
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Postby pillory » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:16 pm

rebecca wrote:Did you check the fridge? Sometimes when I lose things, I find them in the fridge.


If I 'd have the American model of fridge I think I would have found myself once or more from there......

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Postby RCC » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:28 pm

just to be certain:

I was dead sober until I gave the keys up for dead. I've looked in the locks, the freezer, and even in my ass. No dice.

(actually, I found dice...)

I'm stumped. True mystery....

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Postby pillory » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:33 pm

that's true mystery.....i haven't been before in such case......hmmm....I got to dr..think really hard....

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Postby whitefork » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:35 pm

RCC, in your first post, are you using the word "moot" correctly?

The correct use of this term is a frequent source of puzzlement for me.
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Postby Hexxenhammer » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:37 pm

Grammatron wrote:Have you checked the car?


Roger that. Check the floor of the car if you haven't. Sounds like you probably have.
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Postby Vic Daring » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:40 pm

I've got 'em.

Sorry, forgot to mention it.

I'll drop them by later.
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Postby RCC » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:42 pm

Doctor Mabuse wrote:RCC, in your first post, are you using the word "moot" correctly?

The correct use of this term is a frequent source of puzzlement for me.


I think...

I don't give a fuck anymore, seeing I took the vacation day and I'm pretty drunk...

It is of academic interest at this point, but if I can't find them before Monday it may become seriously unmooted...

so, the answer is "maybe"

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Postby RCC » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:45 pm

Hexxenhammer wrote:
Grammatron wrote:Have you checked the car?


Roger that. Check the floor of the car if you haven't. Sounds like you probably have.


Nope. I managed to get into the house. Since I park by the street (wife gets the garage) unless I went back to the car and locked my keys in it for no reason... I haven't left the house since then....

I sure hope not... I like to think I'm not that weird when sober..

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Postby RCC » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:48 pm

Vic Daring wrote:I've got 'em.

Sorry, forgot to mention it.

I'll drop them by later.


At this point, this would not shock me....

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Postby NightG1 » Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:57 pm

I ususally finds things - mostly small, hard plastic things with very sharp corners that children like to play with and not put back in their toy chests - by waiting until its late and very dark outside and I'm overly tired, removing my shoes, turning out the lights and attempting to find my way back to the bedroom. If one of these things is lying undetected on the floor, there is a chance - pretty close to certainty - that I will step on the toy with my unshod foot resulting in several minutes of blinding pain and associated cursing. Since keys have lots of sharp edges, you might find this method helpful - or maybe not.

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Postby Hexxenhammer » Fri Apr 08, 2005 7:02 pm

I may have to use that method to find the bit for my pin vise I dropped the other night. I heard it hit the floor, but could NOT find it no matter what.
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Postby Aoidoi » Fri Apr 08, 2005 7:06 pm

I'm voting underwear gnomes.

Actually, I've occassionally found fascinating things after moving furniture about. You know, in that "wow, haven't seen that in years" sort of way. So, behind the couch?
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